Now That Was Embarrassing.

In the past two weeks, I've been really, truly embarrassed.....not one, not two, but three whole times.
For a girl who never had a 'most embarrassing moment' to share at my slumber parties...at 26, I'm finally getting my story.
What is the crazy force that makes everything happen all at once? Some may say that it's all part of God's plan. And while I wholeheartedly believe in God's plan....I also believe that a lot 'happenstances' in life are man-made.
Regardless of the reason, for the first time, I have truly experienced embarrassment. Not in little pockets here and there, but in one full fledged swing of life.

I like to call experience number one, "The toilet paper drag"
Yes ladies and gentlemen.....it really happened. The all too famous 'toilet paper stuck in the pants' high school nightmare.
I pulled up to Lincoln High School to watch the Stewart Middle School Drum line perform in a drum line festival, and of course made a bathroom pit stop before the show. I then proceeded to walk all the way across the crowded gym, meet up with Adam's co-workers.....(one of whom I pretty much met for the first time), went to say 'hi' to some people I knew, and even talked to a former student.........and it wasn't until two hours into the show, that a very kind high school girl tapped me on the shoulders. I turned around to find myself stared at by every pair of eyes that was sitting around me.
These were the next words I heard : "Um.....excuse me....I just wanted to tell you that you have a big piece of toilet paper stuck in your pants.....that's sooooo embarrassing". As she walked away, I realized why everyone was looking at this girl talk to me......they all knew EXACTLY what she was going to tell me!!!! .....and they just sat back with their mouths shut, awaiting my reaction.
I immediately removed my newly acquired tail from my jeans, and quickly stuffed it out of sight.
My pride abruptly went into hiding and my face promptly turned a dark shade of fuchsia.
Wow. That was officially embarrassing.

I call my next tragic moment, 'Foul Play'.
'Foul Play' occurred at the Meeker Middle School Dodgeball Tournament/Fundraiser just a week later. Staff members at Adam's school formed two teams. I was invited to join a team, but gracefully declined........ironically, to avoid being embarrassed.
First of all let me say that I really don't like dodge ball (or most games for that matter).....and I'm terrible at it. Growing up, dodge ball was right up there on the 'fun scale' with climbing the rope or pull-ups. The last thing I wanted to do was join a dodge ball team with a bunch of people I only halfway knew.....I'd be the one to
A.) Make them lose.
B.) Hit someone on my own team
or
C.) Get smacked in the face and have to sit out.
So....I happily joined my friend Karen in the audience.
The venue for this tournament was at the local community center. The gym didn't have 'bleachers', but instead was simply surround by walls and windows to look in. Therefore, there was barely enough room to stand along the sidelines.
So we sat in a few empty chairs behind some wimpy looking junior high teams. We were technically 'in the line of fire' but we were pretty sure it would be okay.
And then it happened....WHAM! the rubber four square ball flew through the air smacking me full-on on the majority of my face. It stung pretty bad. I wanted to cry. But of course I shook it off like a little kid who just fell off his bike.... as if it didn't hurt at all).
"Yes, I'm fine" (and please don't ask again)
"Haha! yeah, I guess I did take one for the team" (but remember? I never wanted to be on a team)
"I know! I totally should have just joined the team! Cause I got hit in the face anyway!" (Cause that's exactly what I'm in the mood to hear)
......I hate games.

My last and hopefully final event (for the time being) is called: "I think I'll back into your car"
Went to a friends house for poker night. Met some cool people, chatted, laughed, joked, ate, asked questions, talked music, and then said good night.
Then I backed into his car.
Couldn't wait to go back in the house:
".........here's my insurance information........and it was really nice meeting you?"
I think I'll just leave now. And hopefully never see you again.

So there it is. My embarrassing moments. Maybe this will make up for all my story-less moments at all my slumber parties. And hopefully gave you a good laugh. Enjoy.